My Grandma… Amachi

Our South Indian culture doesn't allow one to deliver eulogy during a Funeral. Hence I take this opportunity to say how special my Amachi (Grandma) is.

I stand here today to remember this great soul for her strengths, achievements and contribution to others. It was quite hard for all of us to witness the painful process of aging that she patiently challenged. Ageing couldn't rob her of vitality and clarity even in those last few days.

 I choose to talk about her as she has been there always to love us. I have been fortunate to grow up in this shadow, that her absence creates the deepest vacuum in me. Her story is an amazing one that should remind us all of how lucky we are today and instruct us in how to face and overcome the unpredictable ways that life deals.
When I think about Amachi's life and try to understand her contribution to the family and village, I realize that she was a person deeply committed to the welfare of others.

She has been selfless in her love towards every single person who sorts her assistance. In my early years, I knew her simply as a woman who loved me and would treat me with kindness during my visits to Keeladi (A small village in outskirts of Madurai, Tamilnadu). I remember that each visit had helped me grow up, learn a lot and get accustomed to life itself. I will never forget all the trips to the fields with my beloved Thatha (grandfather), shopping with a tiny list to the local shops, the continuous food onslaught and the community of village friends that my cousins and I developed during those days.

She was a remarkably non-judgmental individual and had few preconceived ideas of how one should live their life. Her famous saying, "Saptiah (Did you eat), pall kudi (drink milk)" keep ringing in my ears. She showed me how to sew on buttons and taught me chain stitch. My stitches weren't as neat and tiny as hers, but she was very proud of my accomplishment when I stitched my first sunflower. There are so many memories - I can't possibly write them all.

The best about her was she always communicated a willingness to accept the fact that changes occurring in the world during her life would likely lead her grandchildren down a different path than the one she had chosen. I always felt totally supported by Amachi and knew that she would judge my progress based upon my personal happiness rather than by comparing it to the choices she had made. I have to say that she was a voracious reader who hardly got an opportunity to step into school. But I am yet to meet someone like her who is so worldly in thoughts and action. She is an inspiration to millions in the world who struggle to go to school. My Amachi's life tells me that School is essentially not the place to be educated. Self learning is a key to her success.

I always knew for sure that Amachi meant a lot to me. She had been that strength I had leaned and now I clearly know how fortunate I am to have grandparents who knew only to love and care.

I love her because she taught me how to love. She has never kissed me or hugged me… but has always blessed me.  I remember her touching my chin when she sees me enter her home. It brings tears in my eyes when I think of this wonderful human being who has been for ever true to the people she belonged to. Her trust in God and the last spiritual journey to eternity is the most honorable death one could experience.

I want to remember Amachi's legacy as one of compassion, selflessness, commitment to others and unconditional love. That is how she touched me and this is how we shall describe her to the next generation. When asked, I will always say that Amachi was truly a great woman who has dealt unthinkable challenges and have lived a sacrificed life. I sometimes want to say "Thank you", hope she hears.

61 Years of married life. Her devotion towards Thatha whom she serviced with so much love shall ever be remembered by me. As I have personally witnessed many moments of such devotion. One wouldn't have seen a huge crowd during her funeral but I am sure that her death moved many…Every tear that was shed during her demise prove how she dwelled in our hearts.

I close my eyes I can still hear "lalu" the way she calls me. She could have been there for some more time, is all that I keep telling myself. It is disturbing to sink in the fact that she isn't there anymore…


But I am sure she still lives there…or rather I want to believe that she is still there.